I’ll never forget the day I realized Ellie, my oldest, wasn’t just avoidant when it came to math lessons—she was anxious about it. We were sitting at the kitchen table going over her second-grade math worksheet. She had done these types of problems before, but that day, something was different. She was staring blankly off into the distance, and her little hands were gripping the pencil tightly as I explained the mistakes she had made and helped her correct them. I watched as she erased the same problem for the third time, her frustration building. When I leaned over and gently asked, “What’s going on, sweetie?” she wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. Instead, she stared down at her paper and mumbled, “I’m just not good at math.”
Ellie had never been one to give up easily, so hearing her say this really stuck with me. I tried to reassure her, telling her she was smart and capable, but I could see in her eyes that she didn’t believe me. In that moment, it hit me: this wasn’t just a bad day or a tough problem—Ellie was afraid of math. She had developed math anxiety.
As homeschooling parents, we’re the first to notice when something’s off with our kids. It’s not just about recognizing when they need help understanding a concept; it’s about noticing when their emotions are getting in the way of their learning. Math anxiety is one of those hidden struggles that can affect our kids in ways we don’t always see right away. But once I realized what was happening with Ellie, I knew I had to approach math in a completely different way.
Math anxiety isn’t just a dislike of math; it’s a real emotional response. Children who experience math anxiety often feel a deep sense of dread or panic when faced with math problems, even ones they might know how to solve. It’s more than just frustration—it’s a feeling of helplessness, like they’re destined to fail before they even begin. The anxiety can be so overwhelming that it affects their confidence in other areas, too.
For Ellie, it started small. She would avoid math lessons, claiming she wasn’t “in the mood.” Over time, I noticed she’d get upset, throwing full blown tantrums when we pulled out the math books. Then came the physical signs—tapping her pencil, staring blankly at the page, and sometimes even a stomach ache right before math time. If you’ve seen similar behaviors with your child, it’s possible they’re dealing with math anxiety, too. Look out for these tell tale signs:
Catching these signs early on can help you address math anxiety before it affects your child’s overall confidence and learning.
Recognizing the problem is the first step, but it’s just as important to know how to help. Over the years, I’ve learned a few strategies that made a world of difference for my kids, and I hope they’ll help you, too.
One of the most powerful ways to reduce math anxiety is to normalize mistakes as part of the learning process. When Ellie was in the thick of her math struggles, I made a point to talk about mistakes—not just in math, but in everyday life. I’d share stories of when I messed up at work or forgot something important, and how those moments helped me learn. I’d say, “Mistakes are good because they show us what we need to practice.”
With this shift in focus, we started celebrating effort instead of just the results. If Ellie worked through a problem and got stuck, we’d talk about what she did well, even if the answer wasn’t right. Slowly but surely, she stopped seeing mistakes as failures and began to view them as part of the learning process.
Math can feel overwhelming when a child is staring down an entire page of problems. For Ellie, even seeing a full worksheet made her anxious. So we broke it down. Instead of asking her to do the whole sheet at once, I’d say, “Let’s just do two problems, then take a break.” By breaking the work into smaller, more manageable chunks, Ellie felt more in control, and math seemed a lot less scary.
For James, my younger one, we used “brain breaks” between math problems—quick little stretches, a jump outside, or a game of hide-and-seek with Clara, his little sister. It sounds silly, but those breaks helped him reset, and the tension would melt away when he came back to the table.
One of the biggest breakthroughs we had with Ellie was taking math out of the workbook and into real life. We started baking together, where she’d measure ingredients and double recipes, turning fractions into a fun challenge. At the grocery store, we’d count change or estimate the total cost of our cart. This real-world application helped her see that math wasn’t something to be afraid of—it was something she could use every day.
When James was learning multiplication, we even made it into a game. He’d multiply the number of apples we needed by the number of people in the house, or we’d see how fast he could multiply the number of toys on his bedroom floor. He didn’t even realize he was practicing because it was all part of our daily life.
Another key to helping kids through math anxiety is giving them opportunities for quick wins. These small successes help build their confidence and show them that they can do it. I found that short, timed activities were a great way to achieve this. We’d set a timer for just a few minutes, and Ellie would do as many problems as she could in that time. The goal wasn’t to be fast, but to practice. Over time, these little wins added up, and her confidence grew.
This approach inspired me to create my Timed Math Workbook for Second Graders—a resource designed to help kids build their math skills in short, manageable sessions. The workbook includes fun, engaging exercises that focus on improving accuracy and confidence, not just speed. It’s a tool that helped both of my kids, and I know it can help yours, too.
If your child is dealing with math anxiety, remember that you’re not alone—and neither are they. By normalizing mistakes, breaking lessons into smaller pieces, incorporating real-life math, and celebrating small victories, you can help your child overcome the fear and frustration they feel around math. It may take time, but with patience and encouragement, you’ll start to see their confidence grow.
If you’re looking for a structured way to help your child practice math without the stress, check out my Timed Math Workbook for Second Graders. It’s filled with short, approachable exercises that will help your child tackle math anxiety head-on and feel more capable with every problem they solve. You can take a look here.
Helping our kids through math anxiety is a journey, but it’s one worth taking. Every small step forward is a win—and with the right tools and mindset, your child can thrive in math.
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